i guess i dont write in here often enough...well since mostly i write my blog in chinese, and most of my friends already check my xiaonei or facebook or studi....

 

30 days until i leave germany again. not sure how i feel about this. i know i'm gonna miss it like hell as soon as i land in china. i'm going to miss all my favorite things here, nice people, nice food, nice weather, great beer, great bundesliga games, and most important of all, my dear friends. everytime i come here i get to make good friends, and not just any good friends, friends who understand me in a way my chinese fellows never do, friends like we've known each other the whole time but just happen not to have met, friends who i can trust that will be there when i really need it (although i rarely ask anything from my friends), friends who i will miss wherever i go (oddly enough, i hardly miss my chinese friends when i'm abroad). can't tell if its really because it's germany or just because it's NOT china...

 

sometimes i wonder how the hell can i be so fed up with my own motherland. but i cannot lie to myself. i just own up to it. i admit i'm a coward and i'm no way strong enough to fight in my country. i just want to enjoy my life in my own way, with no strings attached to my country. it's not a life i'm proud of, but it's the life i'm going with.

 

i will however, do my best and fight my hardest to come back to life. no matter where it is, in germany or australia or uk or canada or usa or anywhere else. so, one last year, one last battle for the win.